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| Band Corrections and Unrequited Love |
| 07.30.04 (12:20 am) [edit] |
Ok, Ok...so no less than one day after I post the "official" times and dates do I get a phone call telling me that things are not as they seem. So here are the corrections and the schedule, as it has been made known to me, to this point.
Sunday, August 15th - 7 until 8, apparently. But we'll play later, if they don't shut us off. We're the last show.
Tuesday, August 17th - Same deal as above.
Thursday, August 19th - Playing from 4 to 5 in the afternoon. Shit, I know. What can you do? I won't turn it down. Not as good a spot but still. Playing is playing.
On another side note, we won't be playing the same set every night. We may just play whatever feels good (no pun intended) as the nights progress. So feel free to come out and support us more than once.
That said, I didn't post a real topic last time. It was band, which is a very real topic I suppose, so real isn't the best word, but I didn't do anything particularly personal. Damnit, band is very personal to me as well. Hope you understand where I'm going here. I didn't have an additional topic, for lack of a better word. Well, I do tonight.
The old Unrequited Love. I'd assume most people have experienced it from time to time. It's something that happens, it's a part of life, you do your thing, then you move on. For some reason, one particular woman keeps returning to my mind lately and I can't seem to get her away.
Let me make something perfectly clear. It's NOT who you think it is. This lady and I, well, we had a conversation towards the beginning of summer and I haven't heard from her since. I haven't made a lot of effort to either, so I'm just as guilty.
I don't know how to handle myself around her. I never have. She's one of those people who makes your head spin in the most positive way. And I have always loved that feeling. Especially when it's caused by her.
She's got a boyfriend, but that's nothing new. Even when she didn't, she thought it was best to be friends. It's one of those things I can't ever truly understand. When I "officially" asked her out, she let it be known that she thought we were best as just friends. At the time, it didn't bother me. I took my shot. I missed, but at least I took it.
My friends accuse me of always going back to her when I don't feel I have any "prospects", so to speak. I guess the truth is that she never really goes away. I do my best to block her out sometimes. And some people do a damn good job of making me forget. But at the end of the day, I still miss her. I still feel for her. And I don't know how to turn that off.
I guess part of me doesn't want to.
And she'll read this sometime and wonder what it is I see in her. Why it is I apparently "put her on a pedestal." The honest truth, as far as I can see it, is that I've never put her on a pedestal. It's where she was when I met her, it's where she'll be when I leave her for good someday. To be cliche, she's that woman that makes you want to be a better man.
If it tells you anything, it's taken me almost 4 years to write a song I felt was worthy of her. Even still, I can't bring myself to play it for her or let her read the lyrics. I can't really even finish the lyrics. They don't ever seem to do her justice.
I'm a guy in a situation he can't win. There is no possible "winning" outcome. But it's one of the few fights I've ever known. And contrary to what some might tell you, I don't give up easily.
My Song of the Moment: "Sunday" by Lo-Pro.
Until Then...
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| What are YOU doing on the 15, 17, and 19th? I know... |
| 07.28.04 (2:43 pm) [edit] |
That's right, sounds like I've got an annoucement, doesn't it? Well, I do, thank you very much. But for the moment, I'm going to do my usual updating.
I've been drinking plenty lately. It's a damn good time. Still no job, still no lady. Blah blah. But, believe it or not, most all is well in the world of Rain. Why, might you ask?
As I said, I have plans. Yes, plans. August 15th, 17th, and 19th, at the Illinois State Fair, my band, Pale Blue Sky, will be playing on the Main Street Stage.
Do I know where that is? Well, not specifically. As soon as I find out, I'll let you know. But each of those three days, we'll be playing at 7 o'clock (yeah, that's night, just in case you couldn't figure that out.)
I think we'll be playing for about 2 hours each show, which is a damn long time, and I look forward to it. I more than look forward to it, I'm damn near bouncing off the walls thinking about it. We'll be playing a lot of originals, but we'll have a few good covers in there as well. You know, the usual stuff. Local H, 7 Mary 3, and of course, plenty of Chili Peppers.
So this is my invite, specifically, to anyone reading this. Yep, doesn't matter if I don't know you or even if I don't like you. And there are some people who don't like me who read this. Regardless, as long as you aren't going to attempt to sabotage us, you're all invited.
This will not be my last post on this topic, clearly. But this is the first of many formal invites. Shoot me some email if you need to. Lord knows I'll be sending them out soon enough.
My Song of the Moment: "Venice Queen" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Until Then...Mark Your F'n Calendars!
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| Confidence is Key...and Killer |
| 07.11.04 (12:14 am) [edit] |
It's a damn weird day for me. I don't really know how to describe it. It's just what's in me today, I guess. I find that drinking messes with me more the day after than it does the day of. But this is two days after my last hardcore alcohol binge. I feel like I did yesterday though, just not as intense.
Anyway, before I forget, the lovely and talented miss Casey has a birthday coming up and, since I don't write a blog every day, I may not write one on her birthday and may not get the chance to say Happy Birthday to her. So here it is.
Happy Birthday Casey!!!
She's an absolutely marvelous friend who is quite possibly the polar opposite of my mindset and emotional stability. I love her for it as she can present sides that I don't or wouldn't normally see. She even puts up with some of my mood swings. How great is that???
On the topic of the band...cross your fingers, say a prayer, and do whatever else is needed, but I'll be damned, we might actually get to play sometime soon! I know, I know, that'd be a shock. Don't jinx it! We're making more connections, (albeit drunken ones) and are looking to perform soon. Of course, I'll keep you up to date on here. I know you're all fans.
Anyway, onto the topic of the day. I hate being honest sometimes and I hate opening up, especially on here, knowing that a lot of people can read whatever it is I care to post. But it's my damn blog, I can say whatever I'm thinking, right? Who cares if I'm giving ammo to the enemy?? (Negative) Comments be damned!
Here goes...consider the events of the last couple of months, I'm kind of devoid of any real close female friend. Now, if you're reading this and consider yourself to be "close" to me, don't fret. I'm saying that, on a daily basis, I don't have a real close female friend. And even the girls I do feel close to, and you know who you are, would have a hard time disagreeing with that statement.
Anyway, since I had my moment of clarity, which got rid of one of my past close friends (yeah yeah, define it however you want), and unfortunately, her good friend as well, I've lost at least one friend I was damn close to. And another one or two have, well, just kinda faded away somewhere.
Damn am I off the point. The point IS, I've been looking for new females (prounced like tamale, but with an "F" - talk to my brother). Yeah yeah, I'm sure some of you, and I bet I could guess who you are, would say, "Poor Ladies". Well, first off, piss off. Secondly, I agree. Ha...kidding.
I've been told I get into too much of a "friend state" to start, which apparently makes me dishonest (ahem, bullshit). Regardless, I'm trying to avoid going that route. But as you may have read as my subject...confidence is key. And for me, it's killer.
There have been two rather comical solutions suggested to me. One is to carry around a flask of alcohol with me wherever I go and take a swig when needed. (Thanks Frenchie!) The other is to carry a guitar with me everywhere I go.
Since I have no flask and I'm not carrying around a damn good guitar with me everywhere...those two options seem to be out the door.
The fact of the matter is, the more I think about it, the tougher this shit gets for me. I need something to drink...
My Song of the Moment: "Save the Population" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. AND...on a sadder note, "Still Remains" by the Stone Temple Pilots. I shall be learning it soon...
Until Then...If You Should Die Before Me Ask If You Can Bring A Friend...
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| 4th of July |
| 07.05.04 (9:32 pm) [edit] |
If you know me pretty well, you know what I've been up to on the past 3 July 4ths. That's not including this one that just passed, of course. And since most of you know me, you know that on those days, I've been on stage with the band, doing our thing.
We didn't this year.
It was our choice, but still, it felt rather odd. To me, this is a holiday that I feel I should be on stage. I guess it's just become associated with performing. And I missed that this year.
I went to the "stage" where we had played for the last 3 years to support and scout other bands. I wasn't all that impressed, but I had a decent time anyway. Ok, maybe that's not the right way to describe it. I was unhappy.
I wanted to be playing, even though I knew it would've been hot as hell and not worth all the time and effort to play in front of the same people we always play for. Not to say those people aren't worth it, but what we need is exposure, and that stage isn't exactly the place to get it.
That said, the Poonster and I moved on to the rest of the "events" that were going on in our quaint little hometown. Needless to say, I was not impressed. I was actually a little angry. I couldn't drink. I knew that ahead of time, but still, I wanted beer. It was warm, I'm walking around, I want a beer.
So I'm walking around, without beer mind you, in the damn heat, looking for people I know that I'd actually want to talk to. There are three kinds of people at an event like this.
1) People I know and want desparately not to see.
2) People I know and want desparately to talk to.
3) People I know and will say hello to but have nothing more to say to.
I successfully avoided anyone who fell into the first group. I saw a few of the second group and was pleased about it. Then, there was group 3. There were a ton of those because they were mixed in with the 2nd group. That's where the awkwardness comes into play.
I don't know how to talk to group 3. I knew them on a semi-cordial basis, but we weren't close. We certainly aren't close now. But I feel compelled to make stupid small talk and ask generic questions. I hate that. They don't care, I don't care. There's no point. So why does it have to happen?
Regardless, there's a lot more on my mind. A lot more than I prefer to talk about right now. This is enough trash to think about for now. I'm going to hopefully get together with my singer this week and hammer out a bunch of new stuff. Keep your fingers crossed.
Song of the Moment: Mr. Brownstone by Guns N' Roses. I'm feeling an alcoholic binge coming on. Oh sweet, sweet alcohol...where have you been all my life?
Until Then...I Used to Do A Little but the Little Wouldn't Do It so the Little Got More and More...
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