We Won't Die!

Sorry, singing Slipknot these days.  Hell of a lot of fun to play.  Enjoying it.  Enjoying a lot of things, actually.  I haven't been this happy in a long time.  And I'm doing my best not to jinx it, not that I believe in that sorta thing.

Had a helluva time over thanksgiving.  Worked 9+, which was nice.  That'll do well for the old check.  Ate well, yep.  Got to see my dog:  fantastic.  All around, I like it.  Why wouldn't I?

Met someone new.  Yeah...someone, well, not crazy.  Yeah, sane.  How bout that?  We hit it off way too well.  I'm almost a little worried because it started so quickly and easily that...I dunno, I'm just a panzy like that, I guess.

Saw Big Mike and that was grand.  Good man, glad to see he's doing well.  Hope he can move back in a year or so.  Would be fantastic to have him around again.

I'm drinking a bit.  Why wouldn't I?  It's a good bit of fun, no doubt.  I'm back to talking to Piercey, and by talking I mean talking, not "talking", whatever you kids mean by that.  It's nice to have her back.

Was a bit of a dick to her tonight though...

Life is good.  Kinda smitten (ok, more than kinda), I'm getting hours before my place of employment closes, I have a few other things lined up, I'm playing lots of guitar, and the crazy wench is no longer around.  What more could I ask for?

A band...?  Ok, now I'm just being picky...

My Song of the Moment:  "The Pulse of the Maggots" by Slipknot.

Until Then...Say it Again, Say it Again...WE WON'T DIE!

Damnit!  I'm sick.  And I'm not real pleased about that.  Not pleased at all.  I can't get comfortable.  I'm not really a whiner when it comes to sickness, I just lay around and do nothing.  Yeah, that's about it.

So...if you've been out and about lately, you've seen me dancing.  Dancing, yes, with one particular woman.

There's been much speculation as to what's going on between she and I and the fact of the matter is...I don't have a clue.  Not an idea in the world. 

I started this off, as did she, with one key ideal in mind:  "No Expectations."  Well, somewhere along the line, that got a little fudged.  Somewhere in all the insanity and craziness and strange talks and even some arguements, I grew attached.  And my feeling is that, if you asked her, she'd tell you she did too.

The fact of the matter is, when the chips were laid down, I got what always comes to me.  2nd place.  I'll be damned if that didn't bother me a bit more than it should.  Maybe a lot more than it should, because it shouldn't bother me at all.

My personal feeling is that it hasn't really ended.  And it won't, until I stop allowing myself to play 2nd fiddle.  Because I believe that, even though she and the ex aren't back together, given the opportunity things would return just to the way they were for the past week.

Should I allow that?  Do I want that?  Of course I want it.  It was fantastic.  Lot of fun.  More fun than I've had in a long time.  And yet, I shouldn't allow it.  I know it, you know it.

For once though, I may have the willpower to tell a woman no.  At least I'm going to try...

And I talked to another former "prospect" on saturday.  It was interesting.  Hadn't seen her in quite a while.  I miss her, no doubt.  She's apparently ready to get rid of her bf.  Does that mean she wants to get with me?  I doubt it.  Even if she did...has enough time passed to make me realize I can do better?

Can I do better?  Should I try and do better?  Is the other girl better, and will she actually get back with her ex?  Does my head hurt...?

My Song of the Moment:  "Save the Best for Last" by Theory of a Deadman.

Until Then...